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FSOS LIBRARY BIBLIOGRAPHY


1) How it Feel When a Parent Dies Jill Krementz
2) Stronger than Death - When Suicide Touches Your Life Sue Chance, M.D.
3) Survivors of Suicide Rita Robinson
4) After Suicide: A Ray of Hope Eleanora "Betsy" Ross
5) Beyond Grief: A Guide for Recovering From the Death of a Loved One. Carol Staudacher
6) Life After Grief: A Soul Journey After Suicide Jack Clarke
7) Letting Go With Love: The Grieving Process Nancy O'Conner, Ph.D.
8) My Brother Peter: Murder or Suicide Nomi Berger
9) Suicide Prevention, Intervention, Postvention Earl A. Grollman
10) Suicide: Survivors - A Guide for Those Left Behind Adina Wrobleski
11) Suicide and the Soul James Hillman
12) Silent Grief: Living in the Wake of Suicide Christopher Lukas and Henry M. Seidon, Ph.D.
13) Healing After the Suicide of a Loved One Ann Smolin, C.S.W. and John Guinan, Ph.D.
14) Suicide: Why? - 85 Questions and Answers About Suicide Adina Wrobleski
15) The Courage to Grieve Judy Tatelbaum
16) Man's Search for Meaning Vikto E. Frankl
17) No Time to Say Goodbye Carla Fine
18) When the Bough Breaks Judith R. Bernstein, Ph.D.




BOOK REVIEW



When the Bough Breaks: forever after the death of a son or daughter by Judith R. Bernstein. 1997, Andrews and McMeel, 230 pages.

No Time to Say Goodbye: surviving the suicide of a loved one by Carla Fine. 1997, Doubleday, 252 pages.

These two books were a great help and comfort to me as a survivor of my husbands suicide and as a friend to other suicide survivors and to bereaved parents. I highly recommend them both.

Both authors have experienced the trauma they write about; each has made space in her work for many grieving people to tell their stories in their own words. Survivors and the dead are treated with respect, compassion, and gentleness. Both books are elegantly written and well organized with a similar layout: feelings (initial and ongoing), relationships, survival, memories, help. Although When the Bough Breaks discusses death by suicide rather briefly, its very compassionate treatment of grieving makes it a very helpful book.

Sharing about our ordeal among compassionate friends who won't judge us or find us bizarre and tainted (and then repeating, and repeating, and repeating if necessary): that's what we need, and Carla Fine has provided it. The accounts in this book are so varied they dispel any possibility of pigeon holding either suicides or the loved ones they left behind. No Time to Say Goodbye is a hard book but a very good one. Don't read it when feeling fragile; survivors' stories are obviously distressing. Nonetheless, we do heal by sharing, and one of the benefits if reading what these survivors have to say is to break our feeling of isolation.

This is ultimately a very positive read. The author realizes: "Although suicidal fantasies might help us make it through the bad nights, there is always a way out if things become too intolerable, most people do not want to die. Survivors have walked through the fire without being engulfed, propelled forward by our courage and will. For those of us who have been left behind, the legacy of suicide lies not in reconciling ourselves to inevitable defeat but in recognizing that our spirit of survival remains both resilient and intact."

Seven years after the death of her son, Judith Bernstein asked herself, "What can be normal again after you've lost a son?" Professional research papers spoke of "recovery" as though "...major loss is ultimately wrapped in a neat package and segregated from the rest of experiences until it goes away." Part of her healing journey was to undertake research with her husband (both are psychologists) into how parents grieve; they interviewed at length numerous bereaved parents whose child had died five or more years ago. Her conclusion: "We know our grief will never end; we will never return to our old selves. But one day we will be able to enjoy the bittersweet strains of a melody; laughter is not our of the question. We will live again; transformed in every aspect of our lives."


Alison Hackney




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